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ReportKeyboardRodent - An Open Letter To DogsKeyboardRodent - An Open Letter To Dogs

Keyboardrodent's picture
  • Founded: January 2011
  • Location: New York, New York, United States of America

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  • Nicholas Tanski

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An Open Letter To Dogs    An Open Letter To Dogs

  • Title: An Open Letter To Dogs
  • Artist: KeyboardRodent
  • Duration: 00:01:41
  • Played: 216

TO: Canines of the World
FROM: The Squirrels
SUBJECT: A Formal Complaint

Our dear canine friends, we squirrels wish to request that you stop terrorizing and chasing us. While you seem to extract a great amount of joy out of such activities, we on the other hand can do without such frequent interruptions to our nut-gathering and attempts at establishing squirrel societies within the walls of human homes. It certainly is not a step in the right direction when you maul us after catching us. Thank you for your time and consideration; we eagerly await your response.

Your friends,
The squirrels

P.S. It has come to our attention that you are spreading unfair rumors and half-truths about the taste/nutritional value of rodents such as ourselves. If this continues, we shall have no choice but to disengage current diplomatic ties and declare squirrelly war. I assure you, being continuously pelted in the face and neck with acorns is a highly unpleasant ordeal and one we believe you should seriously consider while choosing a species to hunt.

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